After the offensive meltdown last week against the Milwaukee Mustangs, the Power have cut Anthony Morelli and gone out and signed a promissing young quarterback who will start tomorrow against the Tulsa Talons.
Pretty sure you're not going to believe this, but the superstar QB was confirmed and spotted at the Power's practice facility earlier today, speaking to team owner Lynn Swann.
"Really, it's a matter of staying in football shape. With the lockout looming, a lot of guys were looking for a way to stay competitive. I'm a competitor," Roethlisberger stated in a press release.
It goes without saying that this is the biggest coup in AFL history. Roethlisberger has had a sparkling career with the Pittsburgh [expletive deleted], winning two Super [Expletive Deleted] before the age of thirty.
Like many other players who are jumping ship, Roethlisberger knows that there is a distinct risk of career-threatning injury.
"For my entire career, I've faced adversity. I've had a motorcycle accident. Off-the-field type stuff. Anything can happen. I could break my leg in the weight room. The risk is less than the potential reward of bringing a professional football championship to the city of Pittsburgh once and for all."
On the topic of why he chose to play for the Power, he said, "Lynn Swann is just a natural connection for me. We've both won [Expletive Deleted] with the Pittsburgh [expletive deleted], so we already had an existing relationship."
Outside of Pittsburgh, the Arena Football League was buzzing about the startling signing of the wunderkind quarterback, who last played for Miami of Ohio.
"Look, I understand that Lynn Swann is a billionaire playboy, but there's no reason to rub it in the face of the league like this. It's a disgrace," stated one poster on the ArenaFan message boards.
So it may be, but it can only be beneficial for Pittsburgh Power fans.
PS. Please make note of today's date and the first letter of each paragraph in this article.